The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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