I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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