is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
