If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
