he wants to bone in the snuggie
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
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