if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
