that's an acceptable place to lick
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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