1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize