think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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