I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
