Four minutes until I can fart!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
