Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
