MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
