I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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