i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
