I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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