no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Your dad touched me again.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
