your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he fucked my hip out of place.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Im part way to drunk.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize