so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The best revenge is premature balding
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
