is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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