i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
