But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
