scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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