just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
