You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
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