Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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