Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
