Just cropdusted the office
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize