I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
