There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize
