Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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