My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
