I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
