Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
What a dumb baby whore.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
