Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
