I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Randomize
