i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
