Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
