Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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