I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
