You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
