Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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