Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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