I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Randomize
