i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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