I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
