too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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