She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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