ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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