his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
