My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
