Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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