Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
