Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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