I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
